Wow its the middle of April. How the year is going by before my very eyes.
Let me track back a little, as its been sometime since I have written to you all. I want to share with you something that has and still is close to my heart. The rawness of where God has taken me over the past few months, a journey that has been one that I have been on. I write this to you not to boast in how much money I have been given, but to share with you the journey that the lord has placed me on.
At the beginning of the year I asked the lord to stretch me, and boy did he stretch me in ways beyond my imagination. This season has been one of growth, challenges and lots of stretching.
So I asked the lord to stretch me in my life, I didn't really think about how this would actually look or what it would mean, but I wanted to see more of God, and in seeing more of him I knew that I needed to be stretched. How this looked was totally different to what I had imagined or even thought.
One of the biggest areas that God has been stretching me has been in my finances. Some of you may be aware of this and I am truly thankful for each of you in my life who have been praying for me during this time. This topic is always a hot one, as I want to ensure that I am stewarding my money in a way that is honouring to you as supporters and to Jesus.
My base bill (Rent) had just increased by about $34.00 per month and is due to increase the same amount in August. That is a total of $68.00. This amount of money is what would usually go on other expenses such as food and petrol.
My heart sank. What am I going to do? How will I live Jesus?
I wanted and knew that my only option was to trust and obey in what I felt God was saying. He has not yet said to me that my time is over, I have felt him clearly say to trust during this season. To give it to him, not to fret or worry, but to be actively seeking him for all that I have in all areas of my life.
I prayed for several days, fasting and waiting to hear what he had to say. I hated even the thought of leaving, and just didn't feel a peace about it but I wanted to cover all areas ensuring that I was hearing correctly from the Lord. I just felt God kept saying this is a time of stretching, a time of growth, use what you have very carefully, be wise with your spendings. I asked the questions what does this mean, are you telling me that my time is finished as a missionary? But again I felt like the lord was saying this is time for growth, get closer to me, and I will show you. He kept assuring me that he would never leave me or forsake me. Even though in my mind I couldn't see a way of living here. God has other plans.
The more I kept checking my bank account the more I just didn't know what to do. Even though the answer was in front of me. God wanted me to trust him through this whole situation. Through it all I have felt a peace that I know that God will provide for my every need.
I went to see the leadership on my base and explained my situation, showing my finances and was given a 3 month grace to continue paying a lower base bill. I really felt the lord urging me to email people and to personally thank each one of you. You have blessed me beyond words, more than I think you may ever even imagine. Through your faithlessness to supporting me you are hearing, listening and obeying the words of God. Thank you really doesn't seem enough.
Within less than 24 hours of meeting with the leadership here, God provided one person. My heart stopped and I just cried with thankfulness, not because I had been given money but because it is God who provided. NO sooner had I read the email and God provided again, within less than 1 hour. By this point, I was just sitting at my desk, thanking Jesus for these 2 people who have actively heard and obeyed what God was telling them to do. I am so humbled beyond words, But God didn't stop there over the next few days God provided again and again. I am so thankful beyond all means for the support from Maitland Baptist Church and each of you my supporters, who pray and financially support me. Each of you are blessing me in more ways than you will ever imagine. You are my family, even though I am across the other side of the world. The love and care that has been from each one of you brings me to tears, as I cant ever repay you for the love and care that you have shown. God is using each one of you right now, and I am truly thankful for this. Even as you read this, God is using you.
This time of stretching is not over yet, and is still tough. I had to make many changes to my budget, ensuring that I was even more careful with my living expenses and what I was doing. For I do feel that part of my calling is to be a good steward of what I have, in all areas of my life. This in no way has been easy for me to write, in fact I have written this a few times and stopped. I kept hearing the Lord say to me to write to you. To share this part of my journey. Share the hard times not just the good times.
I know that seasons come and go, and some last longer than others, some you can see the fruit that is right before your very eyes while at other times you have to wait for that harvest to grow. I am reminded of a picture that God showed to me, in a maize filed where the grass is so long. I cant see what is next. I do know and have that peace that passes all understanding that there is something yet to come, something bigger and greater than me. I know that its not my doing but that all glory goes to the Lord. I cant see exactly how long this season will last, but I do have the hope and faith that God is bigger, and that he will provide for me in all areas of my life.
I have really had to stop again and again and remember what is a need and what is a want.
Some of my basic needs include things like: university text books that I have to purchase, monthly base bills, petrol for my car and food to eat. These are all needs that I believe the lord will provide for, I know because he has provided up to this very point. I stop and remember and thank Jesus that I haven't gone without. I have always had enough.
May you as the reader be blessed because you have blessed me.
If you have questions or comments please feel free to email or send me a facebook message.
Until next time
Shalom
